Ever been stupid enough to write 50k in 30 days? How about raising the dead? I've apparently confused the two, and now have 30 days to raise 50,000 dead people...

Next year, no more drinking on Halloween, or making idiot promises to write a novel in a month.

Here's to the 150,000 other morons who pledged to do the same.

Write a novel, not the other thing.

Dear Dems:

While I support Obama totally and completely, and will likely skip country if McCain wins the upcoming election, please, please, please stop asking me to contribute to the Democratic Party.

I get an email a day from various dems asking me to contribute. I've been emailed by John Kerry and Al Gore in the past week. Which I must admit is sort of cool to see Al Gore pop up in my msn messenger window, but barring my twisted thrill, if I had the money to donate, wouldn't I be a Republican?

So please, no more begging, or I will be forced to hit you up for cash whenever I need a Starbucks fix.

Sincerely,

A devoted, but poor fan.

After last nights debate, I am sooooo outta here if McCain gets elected. Why you might not ask because it's so obvious, but I'll tell you anyway. Under McCain/Palin, according to dear old John, my 'health' is not an issue. My continued breathing is less important than any fetus I might one day abort.

Barack Obama will raise taxes...

Sorry a bit of a PSTD flashback from last night.  It seemed McCain answered EVERY question with that response. But you know what? If I have healthcare, a stable economy, the end of two painful wars, oh and the right to choose the way in which I live and die, I'm willing to pay a few dollars more. Why not?

But Joe the poor fucking Plumber....

How many of us make over 250,000 a year? According to a recent study, if you make over 32,000 a year you are in the top 50%, if you make over 108,000 you are in the top 1%. So Joe, tell me, how does a plumber make that much dough? In Ohio nonetheless? I knew I was in the wrong business.

Okay forget the Costa Rica plan, I am soooo learning to become a plumber. How hard can it be?

What do you mean I would have to wade through pooh?

Crap.

I here Costa Rica is nice this time of year...

This is a great video.

http://www.youtube.com/v/7DIc8jdra0o&hl=en&fs=1

So I'm about 55 days from a finished draft deadline. What does that really mean? Well, it means I have to write the damn ending, of a damn manuscript. I know, it sounds like whining, but it's not. It's an emotional time.  Like giving birth, realizing your child is terribly ugly, and tossing it into a pit until you can find some active verbs to pretty her up. 

My kid ain't pretty. Neither's my over use of clichés, the word damn, and a tendency to ramble on about things that nobody even freakin reads anyway...

But I digress, again, for like the twentieth time, it's no wonder why I can't finish this damn draft, damn there goes the word damn again, and isn't I digress a cliche, I wonder where that term came from, maybe Wikipedia knows, they know everything, soon we'll seek all enlightenment from them.... Oh, right. The original thread...the end of the draft.

What are my hopes and dreams for this project? What do I want my baby to grow up to be? In a perfect world, all projects would be born beautiful, with a sharp plot, and a nice beginning, middle and end structure. Oh, and a character that not only drives the story, but buys me latte's too.

So what do I got?

Shit. My baby's not only ugly, she's missing a couple of toes.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

Maybe if I put on one of those little hats...

Nope. Still ugly.

How about I teach her to wink alot? Give the people adorable, and they'll forget substance.

Nope. As we all know, that didn't work.

So what now? How can I fix this impending disaster of literary proportions?

Oh, right. FINISH THE DAMN BOOK, and revise.

I don't have to be perfect. Not in a draft.

I just need to write.

And if when my baby turns out to be buck-toothed and smells like rotting adverbs, I’ll love her anyway. Because, really, that’s what parents do.  Right before they chuck them into the pit...